Updated: Jan 27
There is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight/inches/fat because you don't like the way it looks.
I said it.
It isn't just about wanting to be healthier, is it?
Isn't there a portion of you that actually wants to look slimmer?
Let me ask you this: If I told you that I have a diet that will guarantee energy, great sleep, good mood, no brain fog, no digestive issues or joint pain, healthy libido...BUT... you will always be 25-30 lbs overweight. Always. You will be looking at an overweight body in the mirror every day for the rest of your life, but you will also feel energetic etc.
Is that enough? Is being healthy enough?
Or is there a part of you that is hesitating?
There is no right or wrong answer here, there is no judgement or shame on what you are thinking.
But it is time to be totally honest with yourself.
Is good health in a fatter body good enough for you?
If the answer is yes, then there is no need to continue reading!
If the answer is no, the next questions I want you to ask yourself are:
"Is my body representing how I want to feel?"
"How do I feel when I look in the mirror?"
The key word here is FEEL. How do you feel?
If the size or shape of your body is not representing the person you want to be (or know you truly are), then it only makes sense to want to change it.
Your body is a representation of the kind of energy you want to bring into a room.
If, for whatever reason, your body makes you feel less confident or uncomfortable...then of course you are going to want to fix that feeling.
If that means working on its size or shape, so be it.
Your body is an expression of who you are and how you want to project yourself in this world.
It is an incredible tool to display the wonderful, beautiful, essence being shown by the physical.
See it is as the alchemy of energy meeting form.
You can't separate your emotional needs (energy) from your physical body (form).
They are in a very deep relationship!
Your feelings and your physiology are intertwined; woven together.
You have an energy, a vibration, that is unique to you.
Your body is its way of being witnessed in this world and is equally unique.
(Just like sound is a vibration but needs an instrument to be witnessed).
The problem is that you are programmed to use the cultural standard of beauty as your own view of what that physical projection should look like.
You are told what size and shape that should be in order to feel peaceful and joyful.
How you should look to feel good about yourself and feel accepted.
Then, when you do all that you are told to do to try and fit that standard - you are told you are vain and stupid for wanting to do it.
(Not to mention that the cultural standard is impossible to achieve, but you already know that story).
You're wrong for not looking "right" and you're wrong for wanting to look "right".
There is no winning here!
So: You try to convince yourself that you don't care about how you look.
You try hard to embrace the 'body love' movement and accept your shape as it is, rolls and folds and all.
And you struggle with that.
And feel wrong for not being able to do that.
You feel wrong for looking in the mirror and not loving what you see.
The issue isn't resolved.
The pain, shame and frustration remains.
You can't, and shouldn't have to, ignore your desire to look a certain way that FEELS like you want to feel.
If you feel uncomfortable or less vibrant because of your extra weight then it will hold you back from living your life fully.
If how you feel in your body is inhibiting you from full joy in life, what is wrong with wanting to fix that?
Why is there shame attached to wanting to be all that you can be when you walk into a room?
The problem doesn't lie with you and your desire to change.
The problem lies with the messaging you've been exposed to for DECADES:
"How dare you be so vain and shallow for wanting to look less fat. By the way, how dare you think you can get away with wearing that bikini. Did I mention that you'll only be happy and satisfied with yourself once you get into that bikini? Also, the only way you'll get into that bikini is if you never eat cake and pizza again. Or enjoy any meal that involves booze or pasta or bread. Sorry, what's that? That sounds like too much? Well then, I guess you just don't have what it takes. Suck it up princess, don't be so weak. Grab some willpower and just do it. Wait until you see how often you have to get to the gym."
What the actual fuck.
No wonder there's confusion, frustration, helplessness, lack of confidence, self doubt, guilt and shame when it comes to eating.
It doesn't have to be like this.
What if there was another way?
What if you could free yourself from this ping pong game of (secretly) wanting to find that successful diet or pill and then feeling guilty and shamed for not embracing that body acceptance messaging?
(Maybe even considering a tummy tuck but never ever admitting that out loud? Or at the very least kind of wanting to get the flu so you can drop a few pounds? I have definitely thought the latter in the past).
What would if feel like to end the internal back and forth battle of feeling judged by your shape and then feeling judged for wanting to do something about it?
Because the truth is, most of the judging is self inflicted.
What would being free of all this brain clutter feel like?
Imagine reclaiming your expression of your beauty on your terms and also being okay with wanting to drop a dress size.
At this stage of the game, you aren't working on your physique in order to fit in, you are working on it in order to stand out and be seen for the amazing human being that you are.
To feel that you are representing yourself as the best version of you, the version of you that makes YOU feel good.
You are doing this for you.
You are wanting to change your body shape for YOU, not because "they" say you aren't good enough unless you look a certain way.
Now you are behind the wheel, and I am here to help navigate!
There is a way of embracing your desire to work on your physical appearance AND telling the diet/fitness industry to shove it AND loving your body again when you look in the mirror.
This is learning how to trust yourself and your body again, clearing the clutter that is keeping you stuck in a failed diet cycle.
This is the work I do. I keep you focused on the true motivator: How you want to feel.
I release you from the fad diet dogma, the yo-yo diet mentality AND help you find the body you want to have.
We create an internal and external shift together.
A shift that releases you from the guilt, shame or fear around food and eating.
A shift that recognizes both your emotional and physical needs, and creates the necessary harmonious relationship between the two.
A shift that builds self confidence and success.
Your next step is to contact me and see if we have a good rapport.
Am I the right coach for you?
Are you the right client for me?
Can you trust me?! The only way to find out is to have a chat :) Zoom or phone call, your choice! Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up a time.
This is a free, "discovery" call.
You tell me what you're struggling with, and I tell you if/how I can help.
That's it. I will explain my programs, process, and philosophy.
You can let me know as much or as little as you want for our first meeting.
I'm here for you!