Updated: Aug 23, 2020

I just got off the phone with my ex-husband.

Even writing that feels "off".

I actually never thought I would have a husband, let alone an "ex".

Quick history: Got pregnant after one too many margaritas at Big Daddy's on Elgin Street. Gave him the option to stay or go, he stayed. We loved each other and tried hard to make a go of it all. Sometimes really well, but then pretty much gave up. But - married for close to 23 years. Many laughs, and 2 AMAZING children! No regrets (he says that, too). As he put it:"We ended up being watered down versions of ourselves". Agreed. As of today, we have been separated for just over one year, officially divorced for over 6 months. He has been less than communicative, I have remained optimistic that we will be friends on some mutually agreed upon level. I have been struggling......

I needed to hear him tell me that we will never hang out again, ever.

I needed to hear that because it has been radio silence from him for over a year, apart from the odd clinical feel text about our children or money.

That lack of contact, after close to 25 years, sat so uncomfortably with me. I really thought that we would remain close. Friends. After being through so much together and making so many memories (good and bad); I thought we wouldn't sever the ties in such an abrupt way.

I totally got that there would be a need for dealing with our new reality alone, adjusting to it all. But, I saw us mending and moving forward a bit more "together" than we have been. Both of us open to a new connection/friendship.


Is it a male versus female way of dealing?