Updated: Oct 9, 2020
There is a part of you that creates a big, shitty stir within yourself.
Sometimes (most times!) it feels as if you are in a battle.....ending up completely exhausted and....let's face it....with a smidge of "poor me". (That feels yucky to point out, but it is true).
This 'battle' is, in simple terms (because you are amazingly complex, but for the sake of this read it is in simpler terms!), between your AUTHENTIC SELF and your EGO SELF.
Let's begin with some definitions and then we can dive into some tools to end the fight :)
The Ego Self is the story we tell ourselves, and others, of who we are subjective to the world that we live in.
It is our opinions, thoughts, labels, defense mechanisms, beliefs, upbringing, learned experiences.....all of our conditioning built up during the years of us being on this planet.
The Ego Self is what we use to define who we are in relation to those around us and our environment. Do I have as much as or less than that person? Am I smarter or dumber than that person? Am I of more value in this place or that place?
And the answers to the Ego Self's questions are always based on the egoic story we tell ourselves. (It's a bit of a catch 22 situation here).
The Ego Self is the tool we use to navigate the world around us as seen by the ego! It is where our cultural/social traditions, morals, experiences and expectations exist.
Some of its offerings are awesome, but only when you step into your Authentic Self and appreciate the offering for what it is, rather than using it as a source for defining who we are.
Sporting events are a great example of this:
A soccer game can be a blast to watch! You can appreciate the skill and advanced levels of athletic ability, the thrill of being in a crowd cheering, the great feeling of watching a group of human beings displaying their expertise and loving every minute of doing so.
That is how the Authentic Self appreciates an experience.
However, the shit hits the fan when the Ego Self uses this experience to define you, as opposed to just simple appreciation.
Anger when your team gets a penalty.
Frustration when they fuck up a pass.
Disappointment when they lose.
Why? They aren't you.
They aren't representing you in anyway, except to the Ego Self.
Yet, you feel as if you are being personally attacked.
And you even resent those who don't support your team. They are wrong and you are right! What?! Why?!
And those guys feel the same way about you!
As you know, physical fights occur. Mayhem occurs.
For what. For the Ego Self.
And when you are in it, it seems totally legit.
But once you step out of it and begin to view it as your Authentic Self you can see its futility.
Once we get passed our Ego Self, we step into our AUTHENTIC SELF: The Authentic Self is the true essence of what we are.
The Authentic Self is a space of lovingly neutral acceptance (like nature itself. Ask any tree.)
No conditions, no expectations.
No need for our old story or old beliefs to hold onto and to define us....and space to create new ones!
(Note: We are not to demonize the Ego Self! We need the it for comparison, to fully appreciate the depth and beauty of our true self. It is also necessary to navigate some of life's choppy waters).
The Authentic Self is where we all started (that is why it feels like coming home).
It is that magnificent stardust, moon and sun energy that we are made of.
It lives in all of us. It is the capacity to love and experience unconditionally, and the ability to see our worth on this planet.
At times, it brings us to our knees with tears of overwhelm and gratitude once we realize/remember our connection to the universe as a whole.
At times, it is the calm sensation that brings a soft smile.
We see that we and all things on this planet are connected to one another...it is all the universe and we are all ONE! WE ARE ALL ONE.
The Ego Self shows us what living is like when we are all about "I", so that we can truly enjoy what living is like as the Authentic Self where it is all about "us".
Your Authentic Self is there for you in more effective, strengthening, expanding ways than the Ego Self. (But your Ego Self is going to try and tell you otherwise!)
With the Ego Self, there is stuck-ness and defensiveness.
With the Authentic Self there is growth and compassion....ultimately peace within.
This doesn't mean that you just “pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile smile smile!“ 🎶
Fuck, no! Challenges are a part of this glorious life.
However, approaching these challenges with your Authentic Self will bring greater understanding and compassion to you, to others and to the situation itself.
You begin to see life as happening with you, not coming at you.
You walk along with it. Or sit with it. Or leap for joy with it. Or cuddle up under a blanket with it.
You aren't on the defense anymore. You are no longer in battle. Less exhausted, less feeling defeated and/or hopeless.
With each experience as your Authentic Self you see your capability. You see your possibility. You see your strength and resilience. You become all of those things: Capable, a source of possibility, strong and resilient. Pretty good shit, right? It is in you :)
Coming up: Help with stepping into your Authentic Self.