"ALL IN" USUALLY BACKFIRES
Updated: Oct 9, 2020
The desire to change everything all at once is a thing that happens A LOT when it comes to our well being! We want to do it ALL and RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
Be all in: nutrition, exercise, soul work....looking to achieve everything in all aspects of our lives.
For some reason, the idea of taking change slowly is totally unappealing!
If I were to say:
"Hey, let's start with you putting the utensils down between each bite. This is the only change I want you to do, and - you are to do this for 2 weeks before adding anything else."
Fairly certain your response would be: "TOO SLOW! Need more! MUST CHANGE FASTER, BETTER, STRONGER!"
And - you would be:
"I guess I'll do that, but I'm also going to cut out cheese and ice cream, and no more Fritos in this house" (this may be an excerpt from my own personal inner dialogue at one point in my life. Sigh.)
"I'm also going to get up 1/2 an hour earlier to do yoga/that power walk/that morning HIIT workout on Youtube.
I'm also going to set aside 15 minutes before sleeping to write in my gratitude journal.
I'm also going to book Wednesday evenings to help so-and-so with such-and-such.
I'm also going to batch cook/portion/freeze/excel spreadsheet the weekly meals over the weekend."
(Okay, maybe all of them were in my brain at one time.)
All super awesome intentions and ideas!
It may be exaggerated for effect here, but I am pretty sure there is a part of the above that hits your inner 'true dat' button.
Sadly, as you know, it's not sustainable.
Sadly, as you know, it's bound to make you feel like you've let yourself down.
Super shitty shitballs.
Many things are at play here.
But the main player is this:
The desire for fast change is drenched in the expectation of fast change.
It is the world we live in.
I fall into it all the time. I can't believe how impatient I can get waiting for Netflix to load.....when it is less than 2 minutes! What?! But when I'm experiencing my expectation of it to come on "right fucking now, Netflix!" - my frustration seems perfectly reasonable, because it has happened within seconds before. So that should be the way it is always!
When I think back to adjusting the bunny ears on my tv to get Global to appear....or even how long it took for the tv to actually warm up.....man oh man.
You get where I am going with this, examples are a-plenty when it comes to "Wow, times have changed and changed rapidly".
Our expectations of 'this should happen quickly' spills over into all aspects of our life.
Not our fault.
But, we can shift to a more relaxed, patient way of being.
If we can shift our:
"It should happen fast" expectation,
to a more friendly, calm, doable:
"I am looking forward to seeing it happen"....the results will show up far more pleasantly.
And, when it comes to self-improvement stuff, in an ironic, 'you-are-so-funny-universe' way, the results will show up faster.
YEP. I pinky swear on this shit, you guys.
Let go of the expectation and the magic begins.
Try it on for a bit and see what happens.
See how it feels to relieve yourself from the pressures of "I MUST...." and "IT SHOULD.....".
Instead see how it feels to relax into: "I LOOK FORWARD TO....."
For one week, change your thoughts: 1) When you feel the expectation pressure start to rise, recognize it.
( The "I SHOULD BE...." or "THIS SHOULD BE....." creeps in.
So you say: "Hey now, I know who you are, Mr. Expectation! (Fairly certain expectation is a dude.)
2) Switch that shit up with: "I am looking forward to feeling fit/healthy/better/energetic/more alive/lighter/toned/happier....(whatever descriptive word you want to add in there)."
3) Be amazed at how much better you feel! Notice how this switcheroo invites your desire to make a change happen,not force it.
4) Notice that you may even make positive changes in your life without the "I GOTTA DO IT ALL OR ELSE" expectation vibe. You feel more open to the process. AWESOME!!
Being ALL IN is a process that is to be enjoyed and nourished, not pushed. You will get there! One thing leads to another, it is important to respect the flow and timing of it all.
Taking care of your remarkable body and mind is fun! It feels good to feel good!
Let that positive, trusting energy in by releasing the pressure of expectations lurking in the background.
More on expectations coming soon - they appear everywhere, those sneaky dudes :)