Who's up for a little self-discovery?! I can picture those hands being raised enthusiastically as I write this!
Here is your question to ponder and explore:
Does it take an external "cue" for you to feel your goodness?
We give our time and energy to others.
We make for, buy for, or lend things to others.
We do this to help, to make someone smile, to make someone feel loved and cared for.
We also do it because it feels good to do good things.
Giving to others is a good thing and it makes us look and feel good.
But what if there wasn't anyone around to give to?
Imagine yourself living in the middle of nowhere, with no other people around.
Imagine there is no way to communicate or connect with anyone.
Before this gets too scary, imagine that you are absolutely fine and this is your "normal"!
Imagine that you chose this way of life, you are content.
Now: Would you feel your goodness?
Would you be able to see how good (compassionate, caring, giving, loving, understanding, creative, passionate, energetic, optimistic, patient, etc...all the things that are considered good in us humans!) you are?
It's just you. Do you see or feel your goodness?
Do you think that, because there isn't anyone else to compare yourself to, you would be able to accept the you-ness of you and see the good that is there?
Not worrying about how you are being perceived, received....would that open up some space for self-acceptance?
Having nothing to judge yourself against. Can you imagine that?
Would you even "need" to be "good"? Would just "being" be enough?
Everything you did - the food you create, the warmth you create, the environment you create....all for you and only you.
You seeing the glory in a sunrise, the magnificence of a star-filled night, the jaw dropping beauty of a full moon.
You feeling the peace sitting by a body of water, you feeling the joy of jumping in a puddle in the summer rain.
You smiling at the birds flying by, the flowers blooming, the wind blowing.
All for you and only you.
You would be there when you were injured or scared - a comforting, supportive being.
You would be there when you accomplished awesome things - a celebrating, supportive being.
Would you appreciate yourself? Would you accept yourself easily and fully? Would you see yourself as "enough?
I hope the answer is yes.
Would you not feel whole without even thinking you need to be "good"?
Isn't the "good" simply in the being of it all?
Just being is "good".
Feel your wholeness and goodness in the simple being of you.
Your true essence is already all that is "good" in being human.
To be a "good" person is to be kind and considerate, giving and thoughtful, loving and caring, appreciative and alive.
You are all of that already, regardless of what you do for others.
You don't need to prove this to yourself (or anyone else for that matter!) when you come to see your "being" as "good".
Consider your wholeness of being when you think about YOU, and I hope it brings you a sense of relief!
Take some pressure off :)
When you are falling asleep, or when you have moments to yourself, remind yourself that you are already everything you are striving to be.
When you find yourself worrying that you aren't "good enough", remember that you are already whole just in the being-ness of you.
Even when you strip away the externa "cues", the internal "good" of you is still there
It always will be.
Keep on giving to others, of course!
Show your love and care....spread that shit around!
When you do so, with the solid knowing that you are already "good enough", it becomes an even more amazing experience.
It is pure in its intention.
It is you whole in your giving.
So, go forth and imagine yourself alone on your lovely island!
See yourself, not in a Survivor show kind of way, but in a "here I am just being" kind of way.
Then remind yourself that you would be enough right there with just wonderful you.
Then, as you go throughout your day, tell yourself: "I am whole just by being".
I know you are full of love and care for many people and you want to show that, and you acknowledging your wholeness won't hinder that at all!
You will still love the feeling of giving - even more than before!
Contemplate, consider, imagine, feel, question, ponder and wonder.