I love “I am” affirmations.
I totally get the reason for them, I use them myself and occasionally suggest a couple to my clients – depending on where they are at! However, as with everything in life, there is an opposite effect.
Sometimes these “I AM” statements can be counter productive and cause more harm than good.
They can make you feel even less than what the I AM is meant to offer.
If you don’t fully believe the statement you are saying to yourself, you will feel whatever you are trying to stop feeling even more:
“I am strong” will make you feel even weaker when you are feeling weak.
“I am resilient” will make you feel even more insecure when you are feeling insecure.
“I am capable” will make you feel less capable if you are feeling incapable.
“I am brave” will make you feel more fear if you are feeling scared.
“I am calm” will make you feel more out of control when you feel overwhelmed and stressed.
Even “I’ve got this” can make you feel even more of a fraud when you feel out of your depth.
You will compare yourself to others and wonder how “they” are so great at life and you aren’t.
You will ask yourself: “What’s wrong with me, why can’t I get this?”
You’ll tell yourself that you’re never going to feel what you want to feel.
You will never be able to dig yourself out of this hole.
Self doubt and self judgement will get layered on top of the feeling of weakness, insecurity, fear, stress.
Backfire, big time.
I know this because I have experienced it.
I know how it feels to want to be a certain way and try to convince yourself that you are something that you just don't, can't even, convince yourself of.
Unless there is a big enough part of you that believes it, it just makes things worse.
There needs to be a “Yeah, you know what? I can see myself like that!”
There needs to be a part inside you that no longer holds onto your old way of thinking and feeling…and that part can be really hard to find.
On top of that challenge, the part of you that is resisting the change in you is STRONG!
Even though it makes sense to want to be stronger, more capable, less stressed, less scared, more secure and confident…there is a part of you that will resist this.
Change is scary and hard work, as far as this resistant part of you is concerned.
Why go through all of that when you’ve made it through life so far?
Let’s just stay right here as we are.
This way you don’t have to challenge yourself in anyway, you don’t have to think about the unknown territory of life as the new version of you.
STAY HERE! THIS IS SAFE! THIS IS COMFORTABLE ENOUGH!
WE KNOW INSECURITY! WE KNOW FEAR!
So, to try and convince that part of you with a repetitive I AM….that’s a huge task and a big ask.
It makes sense that you’ll feel like it’s bullshit and not working.
It makes sense that the resistance to change will bring on even more insecure, incapable, scary feelings.
HOWEVER!
There is a way to get to believing your I AM affirmations and stand strong in your desire and willingness to change (because you really do want to feel stronger, less scared, more secure – of course!).
Let me share where I started and what led me to FULLY believing: “I AM STRONG”
(my desire for change at the time). I now fully own: I AM STRONG.
Start here: “I am adaptable.”
Yep.
There you have the most powerful I AM statement EVER.
WHY:
1) Think about it for a second or two. It’s the truth, and you can find proof of it all over the place! You adapt to your environment every second of every day. You have done so since conception, you remarkable human.
2) It’s what is natural. Everything in the natural world is adapting. We are part of the natural world, so it will come naturally to you (once you see that you are always doing it!)
3) Even that part of your brain that wants to remain “safe” can’t argue with the thought: I am adaptable. You aren’t asking it to jump all the way to the opposite of where it wants to stay.
4) It will empower you. No matter what happens, you will adapt in some way, shape or form. Good or bad, you will adapt to it. You can do 'adapt'.
5) It will open your mind/your eyes to see that you are actually quite extraordinary. YOU ARE ADAPTABLE. What a talent to have!
6) It will release this misplaced need for control. YOU CAN’T CONTROL LIFE. You can, however, adapt to it. This is liberating news, you remarkable human! You can release yourself of the control burden you have been squashing yourself underneath.
7) I AM ADAPTABLE will lead to I AM ABLE (have a look: able is in the word adaptable, just shorten it after awhile, huzzah!)
8) I AM ABLE will lead to I AM STRONG, CALM, CONFIDENT.
9) It is the stepping stone to get you to a life that feels less scary. I AM ADAPTABLE means you acknowledge the unknown and will deal with it. You aren’t fighting the reality of life anymore. You know that uncertainty is a given and/also you know that you will adapt accordingly.
10) It isn’t sugar coating or bullshitting. It’s saying: Yes, hardships happen, yes I will be scared, sad, fall down…life isn’t ever going to happy days always…and I will be okay. I’ll adapt and figure it all out. It gives you your power back and increases your sense of control.
It’s funny how letting go of a need for control ultimately makes you feel more in control, isn’t it?
Oh life, you bizarre and amazing thing, you!
Please, please, please try it on.
See how injecting the thought “I AM ADAPTABLE” feels over the next few days. Intentionally think it. Write it down all over the place if you need to. Be conscious of that thought. Give it some time and let the truth of it sink right in.
You are an extraordinary adapter!
You have been since day one.
You just haven’t really thought about it much, and that’s okay.
No time like the present, so off you go!
"I am adaptable, (and that's pretty awesome)".